Look closely; they are there.

On celebrating all your wins, seemingly minor or not.

Hey there, it’s been a while. Let’s just say that I’ve been caught up in quite many engagements and didn’t have the time to write. You can see through the lie, right? I didn’t write because I felt like I had nothing to offer you guys. It’s a long and weird story, but let’s go into today’s gist.

It’s that time of the year again. We’re seeing people make an inventory of their wins and losses this year and sharing it to motivate others or just share their stories. I read a couple that made me smile so widely, shooting up a prayer of gratitude for that person. I’ve also read a couple, particularly those that have to do with relocating to another country and shouted ‘God, when?’ aggressively.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed in the midst of all of this. It could be checking your goals for the year and realizing you didn’t hit them or being filled with regrets for things you could have done better. I’m all for assessing your growth, finding your faults, and working on them. In fact, I have done that a couple of times this past month. But while doing that, you could quickly lose sight of the things you did right or got better at and invalidate your wins.

Let’s say you were in a relationship that eventually ended badly. That’s a ‘loss’, right? There could be wins in it too. Did you get better at communicating effectively? Did you learn to love someone in the way they want to? Did you learn to resolve conflicts better? While the relationship was on, did the other party support you to achieve some of your goals? Those are all wins.

Did you face unexpected challenges — sickness, fraud, pain, lack of cash, failure, breakup, depression, job loss, bankruptcy, etc. — that may have ‘hindered’ you from getting those goals? Look at you, though. You survived all of that, and you’re still here, hopeful that better days are ahead. That, in itself, is a win.

For me, one of my wins was allowing people to love me and loving people deeply, to the extent I didn’t think I was capable of.

Critically assessing yourself and celebrating your milestones are not mutually exclusive. You can do both. And if even after all of this, there’s something you wish you could have done earlier, the time to start is now. I mean, the year has not even ended. Maybe highlight things you could do better. For me, it’d be setting realistic goals, managing my time correctly, having a reward system, and having an accountability partner. I already started this past week.

And if you put in so much effort and it seems like you don’t have much to show for it, hang in there; the wins are almost here. If that sounded like some ‘aspire to perspire’ stuff, it is. But hey, really, hang in there; they are almost here.

Beyond the “you could have done this” facts lined up before you, I hope you look closely enough and realize how you got better in the last couple of months. And hey, the year hasn’t even ended yet.

We ask that people extend grace to us and acknowledge our efforts while giving constructive criticism. Perhaps it’s time for you to do that to and for yourself.

In pursuit of your huge goals, don’t forget to celebrate your seemingly little wins. They matter too.

I should write to you soon. I’m rooting for you!❤️❤