It’s the ‘little’ things.
On kindness in words and actions, supporting your friends, and my week’s highlight…
I wanted to write about being kind before the day ends because I had such a good day and week, and it’s one of the most important topics to me.
Today, I was opportune to moderate a panel session at DevFest Lagos, 2021, Women-in-Tech Breakfast Session. It was both my first physical tech event and first-time in-person moderator outside of the church, and it was a rollercoaster.
First, I spent the last few days fussing about what to wear because I have lost weight significantly, and almost nothing seems to fit. So it was a mixture of, “God, please, I don’t want to look like a housemaid,” “Why do I keep losing weight,” and “What do I wear?”
I kept saying how feeling like I was not poorly dressed would be a great confidence boost. Tolu and Precious noticed how much I was worrying about it and getting bothered, so they (separately) walked me through different cloth options till I decided on something. Both of them even offered to take me to the mall to get something. And last night, they both ended our conversations with, “Whatever you decide on, I’m sure you’ll look beautiful anyway.”
Next, there’s Ifeoluwa. He’s told me, “I’m rooting for you, and I’m proud of you” several times since I’ve known him and even more frequently in the last few days. It always felt good, but I guess I didn’t feel the depth of its effect until this morning. A few minutes before the panel session, I went to the bathroom to calm down because I was panicking. I threw up the last time I was on a stage, so I couldn’t get it off my mind. And in that very moment, only one thing popped up in my head: to check Ifeoluwa’s previous messages. It seems minor, but it did a great job reassuring me that I would do great and that even if I didn’t, someone would still be rooting for me.
Let’s talk about Ada next. First of all, I was about to decline moderating the session, and she said something about there always being a first time. Then today, just before we were called up to the stage, I texted her asking if it was too late to run away and that it felt like I was about to faint. IMMEDIATELY I got on stage, I saw her at the back waving and smiling, and I can’t put in words what exactly that did to me.
And even when she saw that I was getting confused up there, she sent me messages on WhatsApp saying what to do. Do you know what it means to experience unwavering support? That moment defined it all over again for me (blinking back tears, because I’m a hard girl abeg).
Lastly, after the session, I lost count of how many people walked up to me to say they liked my voice, loved the session, or that they were proud of me. Can you tell that I had an awesome day? I did. It felt like I had allies all around me today, and I’m so grateful for it. If any of you reads this, this is me saying thank you and I’m grateful.
It hit me deeply because I’m usually the supportive and kind friend most of the time. It was beautiful seeing it happen to me today. My heart is full.🥺❤️
I could go on and on about how it feels when someone compliments my skin on a tough day or says something nice in passing.
Did you notice how I remember all the details almost like it happened a few minutes ago? That’s what being kind and nice means to people. I want to write something profound here, but I believe you got my message from the story.
- In all your doings, both words and actions, be kind. Be the confidence boost for someone; you may never know how much they needed it or will appreciate it.
- If you have to be firm, be firm. You can be firm and nice; they are not mutually exclusive.
- Regardless of what buttons are pressed, ooze our love and kindness. Be that person.
- Support your friends loudly, fiercely, and unashamedly. Remind them constantly that they are not alone.
Love you, xx.❤️
