Was it a good year or not?
It’s the time of the year when most people are posting year-in-review articles or videos. I’m not really a fan of publishing review articles because they stress me out kinda. So if you’re like me, you’d be watching and reading as many as you can for the fun of it, because you want to be inspired, or just because you’re an olofofo.
And while you’re smiling and happy for your friends or strangers on the internet, it’s like the pressure is getting werser. You’re losing sight of your wins and beginning to go heavy on comparison.
Yes, you are happy for your friend, but why can’t it be you? You got new jobs this year and you’re living a more comfortable life, but why wasn’t it you who got a role at Netflix? You had more money than the last year, maybe even more than you thought you could in 12 months, but instead of seeing that as a win, you’re wondering why your salary isn’t in thousands of dollars. You have so many wins (obvious and non-obvious ones), but because you’re so focused on everyone else but yourself, you’re wondering, “Was it a good year? Was it a bad one? Oops! Was it both?
Your wins/blessings shouldn’t be a function of whether they are better than or at the same level as your friends or internet mutuals, they should be based on truth: how well did you do (genuinely, truthfully, objectively, and sincerely) this year?
Comparing ourselves to others is something most of us grew up with, especially in typical Nigerian homes. You moved from the 16th position in your class to the 3rd position, but your parents will still ask you whether the person who came 1st has two heads, losing sight of how far you’ve come and the efforts you put in.
And so you have internalized this and it has become a part of you, placing your wins and achievements beside others’ and “whoever appears to be doing better is the one who is truly winning.”
It’s okay to critically assess your performance and pinpoint aspects in which you desire to improve. It’s okay to be motivated and/or inspired by people’s wins. What’s not okay; however, is gauging your achievements with theirs. Yes, it’s proof of ingratitude, but more than that, it’s also dangerous to your self-esteem and mental health.
Count your blessings. Acknowledge the growth in the process and not just the results. Be okay with still “working it out” and not being there yet.
Here are some words from an article I wrote this period last year, “In pursuit of your huge goals, don’t forget to celebrate your seemingly little wins. They matter too.”
And if you truly think you didn’t do so well this year, “Beyond the “you could have done this” facts lined up before you, I hope you look closely enough and realize how you got better in the last couple of months.”
Actually, just read the previous article: Look closely; they are there. It’s a lot of “aspire to perspire” but I wanted to put it out anyway.
To 2023! 🥂
